Updated: 06/24/2025
written by: Joshua Gebhardt, PhD, LMFT
Navigating a mixed-orientation relationship—where one partner identifies as straight and the other as gay, lesbian, or bisexual—can be deeply complex. You don’t have to go through it alone. The following is a list of peer-led online support groups that offer connection, understanding, and shared wisdom from others walking a similar path.
These groups vary in tone and activity depending on who’s posting and when. At times, they may be quiet; other times, they may feel less relevant to your particular journey. And then there are moments when a post says exactly what you needed to hear. As I like to say, treat these forums like a buffet: take what nourishes you, and leave the rest behind.
This group welcomes individuals in mixed-orientation marriages—both straight spouses and their gay, lesbian, or bisexual partners. The space aims to offer support, validation, and encouragement to anyone committed to navigating the complexities of these relationships.
Group Link: https://mmomw.groups.io/g/main
HUGS_Couples is a private listserv for mixed-orientation couples who are working to grow and sustain their relationship. It’s designed as a positive environment where partners can express concerns, share successes, and give and receive encouragement. Requirements for joining include:
One or both partners identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
The couple is actively working on the relationship.
A shared desire to engage positively with others.
Both partners must join together.
Group Link: https://groups.io/g/HUGS3
This group is designed for women seeking alternatives to divorce after discovering their husband's bisexual or gay identity. The focus is on positive, supportive discussions to help members emotionally adjust and explore their choices. For privacy, applicants are encouraged to use alternate usernames and be mindful when sharing personal information.
Group Link: https://groups.io/g/AlternatePath
HOW (Husbands Out to their Wives) is a peer support group for married gay or bisexual men who have come out—or plan to come out—to their wives. The group centers around honesty, well-being, and personal growth, offering support through a social network-style forum. In-person gatherings for New England members include casual dinners and an annual BBQ/hike.
Website: https://how-support.org/
GAMMA (Gay and Married Men’s Association) is a long-standing peer support group for men who are gay, bisexual, or questioning—and who are or were married to women. Founded in 1978, GAMMA remains entirely volunteer-run, offering a space for self-exploration, community, and ongoing support.
Website: https://www.gammasupport.org/ (Nationally-based chapters; other chapters exist regionally)
Facebook hosts a number of private and secret groups for individuals in mixed-orientation relationships. Because these groups prioritize confidentiality, they can be difficult to locate through search alone. Your best bet is to connect through one of the above communities, where members often share referrals.
Note: Many Facebook-based groups are perceived as more forward-looking and affirming than some of the older email listservs. They may focus more on relationship resilience, personal empowerment, and real-life storytelling.